The Mother of all mood SWINGS….

Why….just why….does the mother of all mood swings have to happen RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of probably one of the best days you’ve had in let’s say at least 3+ months!?

You know why? Because it’s like God wants to punish me….”oh you’re having a good day? Let me think of one way that I can ruin that…”

Take yesterday for example…..My two oldest boys were set to go to sleepover at a friends house that they haven’t seen in months. They go to different schools and we are friends with the parents so it’s kind of like they are forced friends. But any who…..back on track! They were all excited for the sleepover. The mom and I had planned a drop off time and what was going to happen for dinner because well daddy and I weren’t going be around. He had to go to the city to have dinner for his grandmother’s 85th birthday and I had to go to my mom’s house for birthday dinners for my dad and sister. So easily, we were going to be at least an hour away if the boys were bad or something happened.

Then something did happen. As I am getting my daughter ready to make the treck to my mother’s with me I hear my youngest boy crying…..now I start to get aggravated because I just know I am about to take away a sleepover. And here he comes sauntering into the living room telling me that his brother kicked in in the “twig and berries” as we call it in our house….my blood began to boil. God was grounding me for something but I wasn’t quite sure….maybe it’s because I keep saying that I am going to quit smoking but never do….who knows…..But here I was….devastated that I was now having to take all 3 of my kids in the back of my car over an hour away to my moms house. Fuck. That’s all I could think.

So the entire car ride they hit each other and fought and made their sister cry…..and I seriously contemplated parking my car in an empty parking lot and calling my parents….one to drive me to their house and one to drive the kids….yup….got that bad….I hate the drive to my parents.

But as aggravated as I am I still have a smile on my face. I was still going to have a great day. They were going to get to grandma’s and there was going to be too much going on so they wouldn’t bother me. That’s generally how it goes. But nope, yesterday was just the opposite.

Then the worst thing in my life ever happened. My mom made chicken thighs for dinner. For ANYONE who knows me outside in the real world….they know that dark meat from any animal makes me sick….it is 100% mental. I know that. You know that. But it’s very real. So here I am watching her make this dinner that I am pretty sure I am going to throw up and all of a sudden the dark cloud just LETS LOOSE. I lost my temper more times than I could count. I’m pretty sure I yelled at my mom at one point. And then my kids made me so mad we left in the middle of dessert.

Usually….if my mom cooks a meal, I clean it up no matter how late I am going to be there. It is the least I could do. But seriously dark meat? You can clean that shit up yourself….but the pumpkin pie was amaze….store bought….and better than the home made one I made….

But the mood swing actually carried over to today….which is a SERIOUS and I mean SERIOUS rarity. I’ve been beyond cranky. Tomorrow is Monday….Mondays are awful for me…..I might have to triple the Klonopin…..juuuuust kidding but don’t judge me if you see me sitting on the porch with a beer at 8 am……just smile, wave, and keep walking…..

What is wrong with our society today?

http://abc7chicago.com/news/police-3-year-old-hung-up-by-feet-beaten-killed-in-pa/383644/

That link above has sparked a rage in me that I’ve come to feel numerous times when reading articles such as the one posted above.

As a mother, I could never in my life imagine beating or killing one of my own children. Each time one of them was born my heart exploded a little more with love I didn’t know that I could have. A little more of me grew to be more nurturing. More patient. More understanding.

So to read about an ignorant mother who killed her child because he wouldn’t have breakfast…..Jesus. And the worst part? She’ll get life in prison. Not the death penalty. Kill a child, suffer the same death. I am sorry but that is exactly how it should be. I might not be for the death penalty 100%, but for God sakes how can you kill someone you carried for 9 months and raised for 3 years?

I don’t care how “sick” you are, or if you have postpartum depression. Get yourself some freaking help. Take medication. Get admitted. I don’t care. I just cannot fathom how many articles DAILY I read about children dying at the hands of one of their parents.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s no better for a stranger to murder a child or molest or torture….but to KILL YOUR OWN CHILD?!

Sweet mother of god, someone needs to help. But how do you start? Where do you begin? I just cannot even seem to get my words or thoughts straight I am so enraged.