Aaaand so I’m 12…..

Now keep in mind while reading this, this isn’t an argument that I’ve had with my husband in quite some time. I mean for real, it’s been like a week or so since we’ve had an argument. Holy Hell…..what has the world come to?! We’ve actually gotten along for a week or longer?! Ok, Ok, moving on…..

Normally, yes I am a person who likes confrontation. I mean when you are a SAHM the only life you have is boogers, shit, pee, and puke….and then you have a toddler all of a sudden and they bite and pull your hair and scream and are just MEAN! So I have reality T.V. Dramatic, mind-numbing reality T.V. SO I like to think that if I were confronted in real life I’d be real willing to snatch a weave real quick…..apparently these days it means pull a woman’s hair out….whatever I don’t keep up with the lingo unless its Dora asking for her stupid ass back-pack.

So I want to say it’s been about a month since this argument happened. We hadn’t had sex in probably a week (see previous post) and I wasn’t really feeling it but I knew he was going to want it so I was like in my mind “OK, lets just do it and he wont bother me for a few days” Apparently that wasn’t the answer that he was looking for. And yes….Even though I thought I had said it ONLY in my head….no….no I sure didn’t….I said that shit out loud. Yup, I proved to myself that evening that I legit have NO filter when it comes to my brain and mouth….and it got me in super trouble that night.

So instead of apologizing like a good wife should do, I went on to tell him that we just had sex a few nights prior or fooled around or did whatever we did….who can remember these days…..and oh my god….it’s as if World War III hit my house. Now when my husband gets mad and starts yelling at me…..Its like I go mute. Yes it’s on purpose. Its not a defense mechanism….I don’t clam up or go into a little whole, but I know that if I don’t go mute…..I’m going to rip his throat out and figuratively speaking shit down his neck…..I don’t like to be yelled at. I don’t like to be called stupid. I don’t like to be called a bitch (unless it’s dirty talk LOL) and I don’t like to be put down…..So I go mute.

Mute……you know that thing where you just stare at someone as if they have grown three heads and just say absolutely nothing….yup that’s the kind of mute that I am referring to. So all of a sudden mid self argument….I call it that because obviously I am not arguing back….He yells at me tells me its like talking to a 12 year old. And to that all I want to say is “NO TALKING TO A 12 YEAR OLD WOULD JUST GET YOU A LOT OF “WHATEVER, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK” responses….but as a 27 year old 12 year old (ha.ha.) I just keep staring at him. Which pisses him off. Which makes me happier on the inside.

So it’s actually come to the point where he no longer wants to argue with me because I act like a 12 year old. This obviously worked in my favor 100%. Now don’t get me wrong we actually do have adult conversations when he stops being holier than thou…..but I’m no perfect angel…and if you know me….you sure as shit can attest to this. I am the hardest woman in the world to live with…don’t believe me? Try it for 24 hours….you’ll run for the hills…..so he should probably get a shout out for putting up with me.

So here’s a shout out to my husband “thanks for putting up with me for 8 years and so many more to come”

Poor guy……. ;-)~