No filters, crazy honest, crazy fun

I haven’t written in a few weeks….but that’s because I haven’t been feeling well….or I’ve been too busy to sit down and get all my thoughts out….

The last week I’ve felt like crap…..beyond imaginable crap. Last Thursday I was vomiting after my workout – thought maybe it was the empty stomach or not enough water…maybe a combo of both. Who knows….I’m not a dr.

Well Sunday I was being lazy and laying around with the kiddos….lounging on the couch and watching T.V. All of a sudden I get this horrid pain ripping through my abdomen. Literally….worst gas pain ever….or so I thought….but nope….definitely wasnt gas pain….trust me I know.

Pain was still present Monday and I couldn’t really get off of the couch. So Tuesday I decided (after some “encouraging” words from my mother) that it was time to get into the dr. I couldn’t handle the pain anymore. I went in and got poked and prodded. Had an ultrasound done because the dr thought it was an ovarian cyst….low and behold….it was not. So yesterday (weds.) I went into the dr and had some blood taken.

My dr seems to pretty confident that I have diverticulitis….. I googled it and found out what it was…..and scared the shit out of myself….of course you automatically start thinking worst case scenario. So my blood work came back showing that I did in fact have an infection in my body….so she is starting me on a broad spectrum antibiotic for 5 days…..if the pain is still there or I am still feeling sick…..I’ll schedule a CT scan…..

Im 27 years old….Im too young to have something like that wrong with me……Im a mom of 3 kids…..I dont have time to be down and out when a flare up happens…..I dont have time to be down after surgery god forbid it ever comes to that. Seriously you just start thinking worst case scenario…..how can you NOT…..no it’s not like I have cancer….it’s a very and i mean very treatable condition but that doesnt change the fact that you cannot help but bring yourself to that dark place.

What if something happens to me? Will my husband be okay? Will he be able to handle 3 kids like I do? Will he have a life after me? Will my kid miss me? Will they be mad at me? The list of questions goes on and on……Maybe Im just a negative nelly IDK…..but whenever I have a health scare this is immediately what I think about……I mean God forbid I be positive for 30 seconds…..it’s just my nature….IDK

So hopefully next week we have some FIRM answers….I do know that we have a nasty stomach bug going around the schools where my kids go….so I am hoping to god that’s all it is and nothing more…..there’s me being positive 😉

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