Why….just why….does the mother of all mood swings have to happen RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of probably one of the best days you’ve had in let’s say at least 3+ months!?
You know why? Because it’s like God wants to punish me….”oh you’re having a good day? Let me think of one way that I can ruin that…”
Take yesterday for example…..My two oldest boys were set to go to sleepover at a friends house that they haven’t seen in months. They go to different schools and we are friends with the parents so it’s kind of like they are forced friends. But any who…..back on track! They were all excited for the sleepover. The mom and I had planned a drop off time and what was going to happen for dinner because well daddy and I weren’t going be around. He had to go to the city to have dinner for his grandmother’s 85th birthday and I had to go to my mom’s house for birthday dinners for my dad and sister. So easily, we were going to be at least an hour away if the boys were bad or something happened.
Then something did happen. As I am getting my daughter ready to make the treck to my mother’s with me I hear my youngest boy crying…..now I start to get aggravated because I just know I am about to take away a sleepover. And here he comes sauntering into the living room telling me that his brother kicked in in the “twig and berries” as we call it in our house….my blood began to boil. God was grounding me for something but I wasn’t quite sure….maybe it’s because I keep saying that I am going to quit smoking but never do….who knows…..But here I was….devastated that I was now having to take all 3 of my kids in the back of my car over an hour away to my moms house. Fuck. That’s all I could think.
So the entire car ride they hit each other and fought and made their sister cry…..and I seriously contemplated parking my car in an empty parking lot and calling my parents….one to drive me to their house and one to drive the kids….yup….got that bad….I hate the drive to my parents.
But as aggravated as I am I still have a smile on my face. I was still going to have a great day. They were going to get to grandma’s and there was going to be too much going on so they wouldn’t bother me. That’s generally how it goes. But nope, yesterday was just the opposite.
Then the worst thing in my life ever happened. My mom made chicken thighs for dinner. For ANYONE who knows me outside in the real world….they know that dark meat from any animal makes me sick….it is 100% mental. I know that. You know that. But it’s very real. So here I am watching her make this dinner that I am pretty sure I am going to throw up and all of a sudden the dark cloud just LETS LOOSE. I lost my temper more times than I could count. I’m pretty sure I yelled at my mom at one point. And then my kids made me so mad we left in the middle of dessert.
Usually….if my mom cooks a meal, I clean it up no matter how late I am going to be there. It is the least I could do. But seriously dark meat? You can clean that shit up yourself….but the pumpkin pie was amaze….store bought….and better than the home made one I made….
But the mood swing actually carried over to today….which is a SERIOUS and I mean SERIOUS rarity. I’ve been beyond cranky. Tomorrow is Monday….Mondays are awful for me…..I might have to triple the Klonopin…..juuuuust kidding but don’t judge me if you see me sitting on the porch with a beer at 8 am……just smile, wave, and keep walking…..
That’s right…..no matter what they say!
I am not a size 0. I am not a size 2. It doesn’t really matter what size I am….do you know why? Because having three children gave me the body that I have today. I am at time semi self conscious about how I look in clothes, or naked, or in a bathing suit….but this recent photo shoot that I did…..made me lose all self consciousness. This picture….I am beautiful.
My stomach is not flat…..my breast are not big….my hair is not perfect….but it is a beautiful photo. I am a beautiful person. I am me.
Photo taken by Revealed by Green Photography – words added myself
For all the women who aren’t a size 0-2 including myself but have always wanted photos like this done….look at this photo. My stomach isn’t flat, I don’t have huge boobs, etc. I am an average mother of 3. But look at the beauty of a woman’s body. I gave birth to 3 children. This one picture in particular made me the proudest of my body I have ever been. DO THE PHOTOS. You have no idea how much self confidence it brings you seeing them. You don’t have to show the whole world. They can private. But don’t let your insecurities hold you back. EMBRACE them! Show them! You are beautiful no matter what body type you are. Thank you Revealed by Green Photography for allowing me this eye opening and beautiful experience. I will be forever grateful.
Trust me….again I cannot say this enough….if YOU ever had a feeling that you wanted to release your inner inhibitions and do a photo shoot like this, I URGE you to do it. Find a photographer you are comfortable with! If you live in the Illinois area….I highly recommend you contact Green Photography and schedule a shoot. IF it makes you comfortable there will be a woman with you helping you pose, helping you hide parts of your body you don’t want seen in a sexy tasteful way. What could it hurt? If anything…..your significant other will be mind blown.
Here is the direct link to Revealed by Green Photography via Facebook….like the page….look at his work….
This. This is one thing that as woman will never and I mean never understand. As much as I want to be able to understand how their mentality works when it comes to certain things.
Let’s take my husband for example….this will more than likely be a blog that praises him…..I know I know you’ll be shocked. So I became a SAHM (Stay at home mom) in March. Not really by choice but at the same time I wasn’t going to argue. He works his 40 hours a week to bring home money to support his family. But a few months ago he thought he would take on this new business venture.
See, I used to be in direct sales for a pampering company and the company was big on sending out samples to customers etc etc well we had to supply our own sample containers. So my husband got this friggin’ brilliant idea that he was going to be come a supplier for the DS companies that needed sample supplies. It started with just containers and I laughed in his face….I never thought it would take off like it did. And the worst part? I laughed in this face. And he has become EXTREMELY successful.
But here is this dilemma that I have……he works his 8 hour day. He comes home goes straight down into the office for 2-3 hours packing boxes, printing shipping labels, and then goes to the post office. Then he comes home (generally misses dinner) and goes back into the office and spends hours sending invoices and bagging product and boxing product etc etc. The worst part….he has only twice ever asked for my help. He does it all himself and doesnt complain about it.
I try not to complain, but let’s be real here Im a pretty bitch person….so when I do complain about it its like WWIII up in here. But Im pretty sure Ive only ever complained twice. What I want him to do….is ask me for help during the day to day operations. You know while he is working there is a lot here that I could be doing for him so he just has to literally run to the post office…come home and eat dinner and spend time with this kids. But he will NEVER and I mean NEVER ask me for help. And I have offered numerous times. All he has to do is take the time to teach me what I need to do and it will sure as shit get done.
I miss my husband. He needs to get his shit together ;-)~
I appreciate everything he does for us. I might now show enough if ever, but I really do…..I just wish that he could put that pride aside.
I dont get it guys, maybe you can help me out…what is with your pride? Why is it so hard to put aside and ASK FOR HELP? Or speak whats on your mind? Tell me? I just want to better understand why my husband wont utilize my help during the day. I know he’s tired. I know he wants to spend time with us. But for the love of baby jesus!!!!!! WHY WONT HE PUT HIS PRIDE ASIDE?! He isnt superman! He can’t do it all alone! LET ME HELP YOU!
Now keep in mind while reading this, this isn’t an argument that I’ve had with my husband in quite some time. I mean for real, it’s been like a week or so since we’ve had an argument. Holy Hell…..what has the world come to?! We’ve actually gotten along for a week or longer?! Ok, Ok, moving on…..
Normally, yes I am a person who likes confrontation. I mean when you are a SAHM the only life you have is boogers, shit, pee, and puke….and then you have a toddler all of a sudden and they bite and pull your hair and scream and are just MEAN! So I have reality T.V. Dramatic, mind-numbing reality T.V. SO I like to think that if I were confronted in real life I’d be real willing to snatch a weave real quick…..apparently these days it means pull a woman’s hair out….whatever I don’t keep up with the lingo unless its Dora asking for her stupid ass back-pack.
So I want to say it’s been about a month since this argument happened. We hadn’t had sex in probably a week (see previous post) and I wasn’t really feeling it but I knew he was going to want it so I was like in my mind “OK, lets just do it and he wont bother me for a few days” Apparently that wasn’t the answer that he was looking for. And yes….Even though I thought I had said it ONLY in my head….no….no I sure didn’t….I said that shit out loud. Yup, I proved to myself that evening that I legit have NO filter when it comes to my brain and mouth….and it got me in super trouble that night.
So instead of apologizing like a good wife should do, I went on to tell him that we just had sex a few nights prior or fooled around or did whatever we did….who can remember these days…..and oh my god….it’s as if World War III hit my house. Now when my husband gets mad and starts yelling at me…..Its like I go mute. Yes it’s on purpose. Its not a defense mechanism….I don’t clam up or go into a little whole, but I know that if I don’t go mute…..I’m going to rip his throat out and figuratively speaking shit down his neck…..I don’t like to be yelled at. I don’t like to be called stupid. I don’t like to be called a bitch (unless it’s dirty talk LOL) and I don’t like to be put down…..So I go mute.
Mute……you know that thing where you just stare at someone as if they have grown three heads and just say absolutely nothing….yup that’s the kind of mute that I am referring to. So all of a sudden mid self argument….I call it that because obviously I am not arguing back….He yells at me tells me its like talking to a 12 year old. And to that all I want to say is “NO TALKING TO A 12 YEAR OLD WOULD JUST GET YOU A LOT OF “WHATEVER, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK” responses….but as a 27 year old 12 year old (ha.ha.) I just keep staring at him. Which pisses him off. Which makes me happier on the inside.
So it’s actually come to the point where he no longer wants to argue with me because I act like a 12 year old. This obviously worked in my favor 100%. Now don’t get me wrong we actually do have adult conversations when he stops being holier than thou…..but I’m no perfect angel…and if you know me….you sure as shit can attest to this. I am the hardest woman in the world to live with…don’t believe me? Try it for 24 hours….you’ll run for the hills…..so he should probably get a shout out for putting up with me.
So here’s a shout out to my husband “thanks for putting up with me for 8 years and so many more to come”
Poor guy……. ;-)~